Camino Frances: Things I Haven’t Done

Howdy folks,

Just a silly post about things I haven’t done since beginning Camino Triumphant (my Latin enthusiasts will chuckle at that pun):

  • Worn deodorant (when trying to hit on Tony’s attractive single friends, it’s tough to do in the sweltering New Mexican sun knowing you’ve got a plane to catch and don’t want to carry the extra weight) – get it!? baggage?;
  • Shaved (some of my students beat the shit out of puberty whilst I’m still trying to scrabble together a mediocre face warmer at 31);
much sad – so beer – no beard
  • Used a credit card (American capitalism can’t (pronounced kain’t) reach me out here!);
  • Checked my phone (no doubt it will blow up upon reactivation given my friends’ – especially you, Luis (Cyrus, dick) – penchant for trying to break the previous Bruno’s-On-Camino-Record (around 155 unread texts in one day if memory recalls));
  • Gotten a hair cut (Jade cuts my hair and since she’s comfortably in Lovington, I’m at a loss; how in the blazing fucks do you request a haircut when your Spanish is muede?);
  • Eaten a decent hamburger (I want my goddamned jalapenos and green chili dammit);
  • Checked the American news (Trump said something racist, allegedly, and Spain seems surprised and upset, but I scarcely call that news);
  • Tamed any strange (after my first Camino, I was poised this phrase, and, monk that I am, had no idea what I meant – kids, don’t Google it);
  • Seen mah nephews and nieces (sorry brothers and sister; you aren’t cute and adorable anymore);
  • Had a scorpion in my bed (actually, that’s a good thing – can we keep this?);
  • Had a debate about Democrats and Republicans (it’s all Brexit over here, fam);
  • Had a good debate about Brexit (sadly it’s just like Democrats and Republicans – blah blah blah it’s all their fault);
  • Listened to Rammstein (Mein Hertz brennt 😦 );
  • Mexican food (please don’t build the wall; I love those people and their cuisine);
  • Gotten pissed (in the English sense; it’s horrid to walk with a hangover lemme tell ya).
  • Checked my work email (Oh, yeah, job);
  • Used a proper laundry machine (might be time to burn these socks).

Ha. We give up so many things to walk and realize we never needed them in the first place.

Silly post is silly.

Saint James love ya, fam.

Shot out to my wonderful boss (I still have a job, right?)

Author: Bruno

A blog for mad people by a madman.

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